I’m really going through it lately. More than ever in my life. My girl says radical acceptance might help. It’s hard to radically accept extreme anxiety and severe panic attacks. My recent run with hard drugs over the last few years has really done a number on my nervous system. I’ve been pretty clean for about six months now. Well except for booze but that’s just for the anxiety. 

My appetite is sporadic at best. Not what it used to be that’s for sure. And I feel like I have no one to turn to… Me and all my friends are around 40. Most my friends have kids and problems of their own and no time to deal with mine. 

Both my parents are gone. I got a stepdad that has his own issues but that a whole other story in itself. I have an older brother and sister, again, with kids and problems of their own. 

I think it’s safe to say meth ruined my life. At least for the time being. It changed my outlook on life and it changed people’s outlook on me. At least some people close to me. It made me act in ways I never had before and made me say and yell things I don’t believe or agree with to this day. But oh boy do I regret it. Deep within my soul. Deep with in my chest and brain and I deal with it everyday. 

Don’t do meth. It takes light from your soul and you need as much light as possible in your soul. Trust me. If you’re thinking of trying it or you are trying it now, just don’t. I wish I didn’t. I wish I listened to the recovering addicts that begged me not to. They told me I had too much going for myself and that meth would take all that away. They promised me that. I didn’t listen. I wish I did. 

Bobby Nobel is a seasoned writer and a part-time tennis player.